Find Your Best Sleep in a New Relationship.

Ah, the exhilaration of newfound love. It’s a burst of dopamine like no other. We’re besotted, carefree. “And we think to ourselves, what a wonderful world!"

The bed becomes a shared space of intimacy. It’s a quiet, private little love nest where time stands still. Except, it doesn’t. That initial whirlwind of romance, the “honeymoon” period, eventually rejoins the real world. The bed reverts to being that vital place of rest and recuperation, where the quality and duration of sleep time is of the essence. 

Let’s count the ways. Which side of the bed do you take? Do you both like to sleep and wake up early, or later? Do you prefer softer or more robust comfort and support in a mattress? Are your go-to sleep positions compatible? Do you both maintain a proper sleep routine, or sleep hygiene; that is, do you both take care of your diet and levels of exercise to ensure you get a good night’s sleep, every night? Are you mindful to put aside sleep-disrupting habits like devices and TV bingeing?

One of the marks of a strong, healthy relationship is when partners find their separate comfort zones in the same bed. Discussing one another’s sleep quirks or habits can be beneficial to both partners’ quality of sleep. Sleeping together does not have to be in a cuddled position all night. Sleeping back to back is not an indication of a troubled relationship. In fact, it is an extension of intimacy to be concerned and caring about one another’s sleep health.

There are good days. And challenging times. Everyone has them. It’s called reality. Preferably don’t take disagreements to bed with you. Leave unresolved discussions outside the bedroom door. At least afford one another a proper night’s sleep and you’ll likely deal with issues with more forethought and clarity in the morning.

If either of you have disruptive sleep behaviours like frequent rolling, snoring, trips to the bathroom, or splayed sleep positions, be practical and deal with them as soon as possible. Changing sleep positions can alleviate snoring. Invest in a decent mattress, whether high quality foam, or pocket spring engineered, so that movement minimises partner disruption.

If your normal sleep routines are radically different – one being earlier and the other much later, or if your mattress comfort and support preferences are vastly different – consider joining two single mattresses to accommodate both your needs. It’s by no means an indication of incompatibility. If anything, you’re taking care of one another’s quality of life by respecting your natural sleep routines.

Sleep issues are often not just the challenge of new relationships. Sleep habits can change as we grow older together in longer relationships. If changes in one partner’s sleep routine become so disruptive that neither partner can enjoy deep, quality sleep each night, then some sleep specialists even recommend a “sleep separation”. Don’t let the stigma of separate beds, or even bedrooms, take hold. Do what is best for the quality of both your sleep.

If you have a young family, sleep experts recommend that you try not to bring a restless baby, or a nightmare-disturbed toddler, to your jointly shared bed. At least not routinely. Maintaining sleep boundaries is ultimately best for the wellbeing of the whole family.

We all have our favourite, or preferred, sleep positions. But it’s finding those shared positions of intimate sleep that is important. A medically reviewed article shares quite an amazing classification of sleep positions.* When sleeping with a partner, you’re both likely familiar with some of these co-sleeping positions. Some of the descriptions can be quite amusing:

There’s the Spoon position, of course. Falling asleep Face-to-Face can be with an embrace or not. The Cradle is a manner of nuzzling together. Back-to-Back side sleeping is a practical way for both partners to enjoy more uninterrupted sleep. The Cliffhanger is where both partners sleep straight out and apart, keeping to their edges of the bed. It is a perfectly normal position for partners who are entirely secure in their bond.

Paper Dolls is where both partners look like mirrored cut-outs, just touching hands or feet. The Tetherball is where one partner is in a foetal position while the other lies out fully relaxed with perhaps a gently rested, reassuring hand. Believe it or not, there’s a position called Shingles. It actually refers to overlaying, where one partner rests their head on the other’s shoulder.

Going Starfish is where one partner is most comfortable with their arms and legs splayed. This might require a space compromise on the part of your other half. If it works for you both, so be it. Among many others, there’s a position called Soldiers, which is pretty much as it suggests – lying straight out, but paying no attention to one another. With the right pillow and mattress support, it’s actually a highly recommended position for healthy spine support and alignment.

Whatever your preferred sleeping position, the most important thing for your relationship with deep, quality sleep is the comfort and support of your mattress. Your bed really is that silent “sleeping partner” for you both. Don’t compromise. Shop among the very best you can afford at www.dialabed.co.za. Take a visit to your nearest Dial•a•Bed store together. And fall in love with a whole new sleep experience. #SleepForLife.

TAKE CARE: Lifestyle recommendation is not medical advice. Always consult your healthcare professional should you be experiencing prolonged sleep difficulties or related health issues. * “Does This Sleeping Position Mean Anything, Or Is It Just More Comfortable?”- Lauren Starkey.